I’ve always been the type of person that moved from one milestone to another, ticking the list as she goes along. Secondary school? Check. University? Check. NYSC? Done. Etc. so it was only logical that because I wanted kids in the near future, marriage was the next milestone after school.
Like every other stage of life, it is possible for child-rearing to become just another milestone for us. Especially in a society that pulls up a chair and sit inside your womb the moment you get married, waiting for your first pregnancy.
And because we ourselves may be focused on reaching the milestone of being a mother, we may not necessarily dwell on why we want to become a parent.
Pondering the ‘why’?
“Raising righteous children is an amanah (trust) that impacts on both the dunya and akhirah”
We Muslims are encouraged to have the best of intentions when doing anything, and parenting should be no different.
Why do you want to have children? Is it to tick a milestone, or because you sincerely want to contribute to an ummah that worships Allah (swt) and follows the holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)?
Is it to “establish your foot firmly” in your husband’s house? Or because you want to grow people who are models of the righteous?
The first step to deliberate parenting is to ask yourself why you are doing it. It brings clarity of purpose and sense of direction. So, if you’ve never asked these questions, I urge you to do so.
I will admit that these questions weren’t top of my mind before I became a mother, but as I go through the journey of motherhood, I realise the important of examining my parenting ‘why’, and making sure that it aligns with my akhirah.
What is your parenting ‘why’? Please share with us in the comments.